I have never been so offended in my life

So a few months ago I added a few random people on Facebook that I found on a Castleville forum (I was going through a flash-based-game addiction). Among these new friends was a woman named Kirsten, who lives somewhere in the South (naturally).

A few days ago she posted a status saying something along the lines of, "When I first said I hated Obama everyone thought I was racist. It's funny how now when I say I hate Obama, everyone else does, too." Then one of her other middle aged white woman friends commented and they started having a conversation about Obama, and they were being pretty racist, albeit unintentionally. They were basically saying that he only supports the Hispanics and Blacks and how it is unfair that he supports immigration. (And I should note, these women only think Mexicans are immigrants)

I was pretty mad about it but I chalked it up to ignorance and let it go.

Then this morning she shared a poster on Facebook that said something along the lines of:
"What we expect in 2012:
-Obama: GONE
-Immigration: GONE
-Benefits for non-citizens: GONE
-Language: ENGLISH ONLY"
(There was probably more but I can't remember them all)

I was extremely offended by this. I started to feel really angry and I decided to unfriend her, while thinking evil thoughts about her in my head. After I unfriended her I went to run some errands, and I thought I would forget about the stupid poster. But as the minutes went by, I got angrier and I felt like a dark cloud was hanging above my head.

When I'm angry about something, I tend to recite fake letters in my head of what I would've said to the person who made me angry. Usually I would be dramatic in writing someone an actual letter about why they angered me, but it seemed appropriate this time. I realized that I would not feel at ease with my life until I educated this incredibly ignorant woman.

When I got home I went straight to the computer to give this woman a piece of my mind, but I COULDN'T FIND HER. I looked for her for probably 20 minutes and it's like she disappeared off the face of the earth. Then I realized that her page was probably still in my history from this morning, so I found her through there. Unfortunately, her page is extremely private and considering I unfriended her, I couldn't contact her in any way without re-adding her (That's not gonna happen).

I accepted my fate. I had no choice but to forget about this entire situation. Unfortunately, I couldn't do that. It's now 9:33 PM and I'm still thinking about it. So obviously, I've got to let it out somehow.

So here's me replying to this woman on a blog she's probably never going to come across:

I am an immigrant. I came here from the Dominican Republic when I was 1 and a half years old. Yeah, that's right Kirsten, NOT Mexico. I've lived here basically my whole life; I know nothing else. I consider myself American, citizenship or not. My mom brought me here, to a country she knew NOTHING about, knowing she could never fully learn the language, knowing she would never feel 100% comfortable in, so that I could have better opportunities. I'm proud to admit that I got the highest combined SAT score in my school, and have gotten accepted to 5 colleges already and it's not even February. I know what you're thinking, Kirsten: "A smart immigrant??? Impossible!"

So yes, I think I've made my mother proud. I've accomplished what she came here for. And you know what I'm going to do with all these opportunities I have? I'm going to become a public school teacher.

A public school teacher in a screwed-up-beyond-belief public school system? A public school teacher who is going to get paid a quarter of what teachers should be paid? Yes, so that I can teach children not to be as narrow-minded and discriminatory as you.

Speaking of opportunities, someone who is bilingual is more likely to get a job than someone who only speaks English. You know why? Because America is DIVERSE. People from all over the world come here because they know that it's okay to be who you are in America.

Oh wait, apparently not, because Kirsten over here thinks America should only be accepting of Whites and exclude everyone else. The real irony is that America was founded on immigration. Kirsten's ancestors were most likely from Europe somewhere, so is she suggesting that they should have stayed there?

Without immigrants from other countries, you probably wouldn't have fireworks that you ironically use on the Fourth of July. You wouldn't have peanut butter that you use on the now-very-American peanut butter and jelly sandwich. You probably wouldn't have Chinese food restaurants, Italian food restaurants, etc. which I'm pretty sure you have eaten sometime in your super American life.

Here are some facts:

-U.S. natives gain an estimated $37 billion a year from immigrants’ participation in the U.S. economy, according to the President’s Council of Economic Advisors.
-One in every four doctors in the U.S. is foreign born, as well as one in three computer software engineers and more than 42 percent of medical scientists.
-Latin American immigrants in South Florida have helped to make the area a leader in attracting foreign direct investment, particularly international banking.
-In the Chicago metropolitan area alone, undocumented immigrants spend $2.89 billion on goods and services, creating an additional 31,908 jobs in the local economy.

Oh I'm sorry Kirsten, do you want us all to go back to where we came from? Your precious country would lose jobs, doctors, businesspeople, and billions of dollars each year. I recommend that you stop being a racist discriminatory bitch and go back to school for something other than "criminal justice" EIGHT years after you graduated high school.

My Problem With The Oh-So-Popular Baby Name Nevaeh

A few years ago, the name Nevaeh barely existed. To this day, I don't know a single person above the age of 4 who is named Nevaeh. Then, out of nowhere, this name became one of the most popular and unoriginal names ever.

And it's never classy, respectable people who name their child this, I've noticed. One of my first encounters with the name "Nevaeh" was on 16 & Pregnant, so that already tells you a lot.

You know a name is bad when its redeeming quality is being able to say, "It's heaven spelled backwards."

It's like the parent wants people to look at them with admiration and say, "Wow that's extremely clever! I wish I was clever enough to come up with something like that! A religious term SPELLED BACKWARDS? call an ambulance, I think I'm going to pass out from all the cleverness I've been subjected to!"

I just don't get it. Why backwards? Why couldn't you just name your child Heaven? You just HAD to spell it backwards?

And what's with the pronounciation? Most people who name their child Nevaeh pronounce it "Ne-VAH-Y-uh". This doesn't make any sense. If anything, "Nevaeh" is pronounced "Ne-VAY-eh", which sounds equally as dumb.

In short, this name is not cute, and it's sure as hell not clever. It's tacky and unoriginal.

Another Update Because I'm Too Lazy To Regularly Post

  Yeah I feel pretty dumb about my wishy-washy relationship with Jeff so I'm just gonna briefly explain what's been happening:

• I broke up with Jeff in August
• He got a new girlfriend (Who was hideous, btw)
• She was crazy
  
• She was really jealous of me because even though I am crazy I'm not ugly


• Jeffrey realized how flawless I am and started missing me


• He dumped her


• We're together again.

God, how annoying am I? This explains how many friends I have HAHA

Oh and remember when I tried to bleach my hair and failed? Yeah, that was cause that "developer" I used wasn't developer. Maybe I should learn to read labels sometime in the near future.
So yeah, my friend Abby helped me find the right stuff and in short, my hair is green now.
I also feel obliged to dress up as the Green Lantern this year.

I'm writing a short story because I give myself too much credit for my amazing spelling and grammar skillz.

Yeah well I don't have much of a social life so there isn't anything else to fill you in about.

Update...and more

"Can you stop being annoyed with me all the time?" -Jeff  

 So last month, me and Jeff celebrated our two year anniversary. Well we haven't been together the full two years, so it was more of a celebration of the day we first got together. It's still a significant date, after all. Things were going great.

            Then a few things started bothering me. 

   I guess I was expecting Jeff to be completely different person once we got back together, or maybe I was just expecting too much from him in general, I don't know.

   I'm trying to find a way to write how I feel down in a way that will make sense, but it's hard to get my thoughts in order. It might take me a while.

   Okay well I guess I've been starting to notice how unromantic he is. And how whenever I say something "lovey-dovey" or anything of the sort he calls me corny. ALL THE TIME. AND IT'S REALLY STARTING TO BOTHER ME. I can't be as affectionate as I want to be.

  He's always making me feel like I'm inferior to him. I actually ranted about this a bit on my Blackberry:
"Jeffrey is always saying that he's better than me at playing guitar. That's like comparing apples to oranges. To better than someone at something, you'd both have to be attempting the same thing, right? For example, you can't say a tap dancer is better than a jazz dancer, because they're two different types of dance. Also, because we both aren't attempting to play the same kind of music, he doesn't know that I'm incapable of learning it, the same way I don't know that Jeff is incapable of playing the music I do or singing as well as I do because he hasn't tried. Again, you cannot compare apples to oranges."

I posted something like this on Tumblr, and someone left me an anonymous message in my ask box that said, "Jeff sounds like a dick." I stared at the message for a few minutes because I really didn't know how to reply. Eventually I reluctantly said, "Unfortunately, he can be sometimes" because as much as Jeff angers me, I don't talk shit about him. I felt bad even saying what I did end up replying.

And the reason I'm writing this now, even though I've been feeling sad about it for a while is that I'm at my cousin's house right now, the same cousin who I was staying with last summer in August when I got back from Florida, dumped and depressed. And my life is starting to feel the exact same way it did then. Everytime I think about Jeff, I feel sick to my stomach, literally. I feel like throwing up. The same happens when I log onto Facebook, because for some reason I feel anxious about reading his statuses, like I did last year. Maybe it's because I'll feel really hurt if I see he updated his status but didn't bother replying to my messages.

Basically I feel like I don't have a boyfriend, whenever I'm not home. Because I don't feel like I get the attention I'd want from my boyfriend whenever I'm away for long. I have to be here during the weekdays for the next few weeks because I'm babysitting my cousin who's in summer school and who doesn't have anyone to pick her up from school. Tomorrow I'm supposed to go back home because Jeff asked me if he can sleep over at my house, in what seemed like an attempt to make up for the fact that he wasn't home on my last day there.

I'm hoping that when I get home all these feelings will dissipate and he'll seem like he really missed me, even though he's been having loads of fun getting high and hanging out with his friends.

I just feel so resentful all the time. It might not even be about Jeff, but it's still there.

Sometimes I even think Jeff is only with me because he doesn't think he can find anyone else. I'm too afraid to bring it up because if I do and he thinks about it for too long, it might become true.

One thing I don't want to do is break up with him. I just want him to change. I just feel like I appreciate him more than he does me. That's the worst feeling I can have.
 

Okay so I'm getting attacked on Facebook over the spelling of Osama Bin Laden's name

Okay so obviously Osama's name is Arabic, a completely different language and alphabet than ours. Within the hour I have seen people complaining and making fun of the news for "misspelling" his name. I commented on each one in a completely friendly way to let them know it's not an English name and it can be spelled in different ways. This one kid, Jonah who I've always disliked, refused to believe me.

Kids today are so stupid. They think the whole world revolves around America and that everyone speaks and writes in the English language.
What made me so angry was that they didn't even bother to look it up, they just assumed that the news was so negligent that they spelled it wrong.

My First Tattoo

Yesterday after school I met up with Jeff's mom at her house. We sat there for about half an hour before we went to the tattoo parlor. When we got there, she told me to go first because hers would take longer. It didn't hit me until then that I was about to get a tattoo.

It felt like two things:

1. Like someone was pinching me in the same place over and over again
2. Like someone was rubbing a Brillo pad against my skin over and over again

Although it hurt, it didn't hurt enough for me to cry. It was a little past the "irritating" stage. At one point I somehow forced my body to numb itself. Also, it happened really quickly, or so it felt.  He only charged me $35 and he did the color for free. This is what it looks like:

I love it and I think it's so cute.

Afterwards I went back to Jeff's house with his mom and bought some food. Jeff was with me and his mom in her room hanging out but then his friend Jayson came and they went to his room. I left around 8 cause I was bored.

Today, school was really fun except for chorus class, because Damian used to be in our class. Everyone sang sad songs, like "Because You Loved Me" and "Lift Me Up" and even our chorus teacher sang. It was really depressing and almost everyone cried. Later on I saw my chorus teacher in the cafeteria sitting by himself crying and I felt really bad. Just thinking about it makes me sad.

Tomorrow there's going to be a memorial for him in the auditorium and some kids are gonna sing. I know everyone's gonna end up crying again.

Mission "Talk To Jeff" Day 2 success

So today was an extremely interesting day.

I got up this morning and found out my friend Melina couldn't come with me to 72nd street, so I went to Jeff's house pretty early, around 1. The weather today was 80 degrees and I was wearing really short shorts and a t-shirt. I did my makeup really nice and shaved my legs.

When I first got there, Jeff and his mom were about to head out to the supermarket and she asked me to come along. Me and Jeff spoke a bit but we didn't really know what to say to each other. Then we went back upstairs. Jeff's mom stayed downstairs talking to her neighbors and me and Jeff were in his room. He was talking a lot and he seemed like he was trying to fill me in on what's been going on in his life, which I appreciated. He told me that there's a lot of drama going on with his friends and I didn't know what to say to that, because in all honesty, he takes some blame for that. It got silent a few times when we didn't know what to say to each other but overall I could tell he didn't resent me being there. Then he told me about something that's going on in his love life (I can't specify because I'm sworn to secrecy) that disappointed me. I didn't know why I was so upset but then I realized that maybe a part of me does want to be with him again. But yeah, it wasn't a very pleasant feeling. It felt like my stomach dropped down to my knees and I was trying hard to not let it show on my face.

 Then we had to go down again cause I asked Jeff to come to the bakery with me but Jeff's mom received a check from the tax people and she came along. We ended up not going to the bakery because she wanted to put minutes on Jeff's new phone and to check out a tattoo parlor. At some point a long the way I told her I've always wanted an owl tattoo and she said we'd ask the tattoo guy how much it would be.

So we went to the tattoo parlor and Jeff went home because he wanted to charge his phone. The tattoo guy said my tattoo would cost $35 and Jeff's mom said she would pay for it. (Woohoo!)
Then I texted my mom and after begging for 20 minutes she said yes, but only if I agreed to get a job this summer. (I know I'm going to regret this later on in life)

So I was really excited and I went into Jeff's room and told him. His friends Jayson and Caesar were there (Jayson is the one I think hates me who I used to hate) and I stayed in there hanging out with them. After a while we decided to go on a walk and we walked about 10 long blocks, bought food, and came back. I asked Jeff's mom when we were going to the tattoo parlor and she said she was waiting for the guy to call her.

Jeff went to the bathroom at some point and I took advantage and looked at Jeff's poetry book, which was very rude of me. His poetry was kind of depressing and made him sound suicidal but at the end of the book he made a list of 2 girls he was interested in and listed their good attributes. He didn't write any names, just the initials "P" and "C". I assumed that the P stood for "Patricia", some girl I think he was interested in but if it did, the list wouldn't be relevant anymore because he likes someone else. I have no idea who the "C" could be.

I played some video games and talked with the guys and John showed up. I was happy to see him cause I haven't seen him in a while. It was around 7:30 by then and I was getting impatient about the tattoo so I asked his mom if the guy called and she said she made an appointment for tomorrow at 1:00. I told her I have school and she said she might still be there by then so to stop by anyway. I was kinda tight. Especially because I had written on Facebook that I was getting a tattoo today and at school tomorrow everyone's gonna wanna see the nonexistent owl.

So I left shortly after that because I didn't want to be at Jeff's house all night and I was wearing shorts and it was getting cold outside.

I was pretty pleased at how the day went, because Jeff apparently doesn't mind talking to me, and because I'm getting a tattoo tomorrow. The only thing that bothers me is what Jeff told me about the girl he likes. I wasn't expecting to be bothered so much by it but I guess I'm not completely over him. Fml. I wish I was.

I'm gonna have to see him again tomorrow, but after that I don't think I should show up for a few days. I don't want to make him feel like I'm gonna start coming over and wanting to hang out with him everyday like I used to.

To be honest, for a second I hoped that me being there would make him less interested in the girl he likes, or at least make him think about me. I don't think he could've lost 100% of the feelings he had for me. I'm not getting my hopes up, though. I never get what I expect.