Being a hopeless romantic sucks when you're also self-seeking and vain.

I just watched the movie Something Borrowed which is actually a terrible movie. I hate how in most chick flicks the protagonist is always super passive-aggressive and is never upfront about what she wants. The entire movie was based around the idea that TWO passive-aggressive people are being dishonest about their feelings to each other and the entire time I'm thinking, "Stop with the bullshit and DO SOMETHING."

But anyway, that isn't what this post is about.

Every time I see John Krasinski in a movie or on tv he always plays the romantic, humble, caring, level-headed and rational guy. And he's super good looking, which doesn't help.

So when I see these characters I get so infatuated with the idea of someone treating me the way he treats the girl he loves. I'm like, "I wish I could find someone who will make me the center of their world and do anything to make me happy." All girls say this. They love the idea of love and the idea of the archetypal Prince Charming coming to treat them like princesses and devote himself to her.

Here's the problem, or my problem: I'm also really selfish and vain.

Every time I meet someone I'm super picky and even one little detail about them can turn me off completely. If there's something about their appearance I don't like, I can't unsee it and it's all I think about. If they don't even type as well as I'd like them to, I stop talking to them. And as terrible as it sounds, if I don't think we look aesthetically pleasing together I lose my interest quickly. Hell, I've stopped talking to a guy because he tried to make a joke that fell flat.

Essentially, one wrong move and I'm over it.

I've got these incredibly high standards because when I think of the perfect guy, he has to be perfect in every single way. It's not even because I'm stuck-up or I think I'm better than everyone else, it's just that I've come to expect these declarations of love and bouquets of roses and someone standing with a boombox outside my window. And those things just don't happen as often as we'd like.

(Pssst, to any guys reading this: I really wouldn't mind these things, don't hesitate!!)

I've met plenty of guys who have been romantic and sweet and nice and caring, but I let superficial things get in the way. It's like I'm convinced someday I will find my Jim Halpert or my Noah Calhoun or my Henry DeTamble or most of all, because I'm a huge Doctor Who nerd, my Rory Williams. They're all I want in a guy and they're also attractive.

So basically what I'm saying is that sometimes we complain about how there's no one out there for us and that great people don't exist when they actually do, it's just that we expect them to be perfect. Perfect looks, perfect body, perfect manners, perfect personality, I mean, I could go on forever.

Fortunately I'm one of the rare few who is aware of this and I can teach myself to look past it. Instead of expecting a fairy-tale character I'm learning to be a realist. You won't be happy with someone because they're perfect, you'll be happy with them because the good outweighs the bad and you accept them for who they are, flaws and all.

Wow, this post just turned into a cliche-fest.

I'll quit while I'm ahead.

So many dumb people.

A few days ago my AP English teacher was telling us that being ignorant is better than ignoring something, because ignorance is something you can't help, because you don't know; actively ignoring something means you do know it's there, but you choose to ignore it.
I kept thinking about this because I was wondering whether my peers were ignorant or just ignoring things purposely. I've decided on the latter.

In The Handmaid's Tale, the main character alludes to the fact that we are all slowly boiling, and by the time we notice it'll be too late and we'll be boiled to death.

The people in my school (hell, even some adults) don't care about anything that directly affects their little circle of comfort.

This wouldn't bother me more than usual if it weren't for the fact that my classmates turn 18 this year, and thus will be able to vote.

It seems as though every time me and my friend mention any of the Republicans, someone says, "Who is that?" Just typing that makes me angry. DO YOU WATCH THE NEWS??? THESE CRAZY REPUBLICAN CANDIDATES HAVE BEEN TOP STORIES SO MANY TIMES BECAUSE OF THE RIDICULOUS THINGS THEY SAY.

I've heard so many of my classmates say, "I don't care about them."


DO YOU IDIOTS NOT REALIZE THAT ONE OF THESE NUTJOBS COULD BECOME PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES??

And maybe you're thinking, "Well at least you'll vote and you aren't dumb."

Well unfortunately I CANNOT vote because I am not a citizen. The irony here is that I know more about how the United States works than most of my peers. I'd even go as far as to say most of my entire 6-12 grade school. I could probably pass a citizenship test easier than they could, and they were born here.

So now maybe you're thinking, "Well, why don't you just take the citizenship test?"

Unfortunately, even though I was born in April, I don't legally turn 18 until August. It takes a few months to become a citizen, so I might not make it in time. Of course I'm going to do it anyway and hope for the best, though.

*This has been a rushed and unorganized blog post*

Doubts

So earlier today, my friend Gil and I, who are both atheists, were discussing religion and what makes some religious people break out of their religion and go wild and not others. We were using some of our close Christian friends as examples, especially my best friend Desteny, and trying to distinguish between the different kinds of Christians. Desteny is a "doubter".

These kinds of Christians usually grow up with religion all around them, whether it may be their family, school, or community. Their religion is all they know. Once they're removed from a religious environment, they're curious as to what else is there, which is understandable.
Desteny has always been religious ever since I met her in the sixth grade. She was very open about her religion and the fact that she was dating her pastor's son. In the sixth grade I knew I didn't believe in god, but I thought that along with being gay, it was just one of those things you don't share publicly. When she asked me about my beliefs (or lack thereof) I would stay neutral and not give any opinion. This led to her trying to incorporate me into her church and telling me all the great things she did with her fellow Christian youth.
Over the years, as I've embraced my atheism more and more, I've started to become a huge defender of science, women's rights, gay rights, and modern technology, which are usually being challenged by religious groups. (What a suprise!) I am now a senior in high school and I also have become best friends with another atheist, Gil. By pure coincidence (or maybe not), we are also regarded as being two of the smartest students at school. We seem to know much more about politics and world news than most of our peers do, due to the fact that we have to work twice as hard as religious students do to back up our beliefs. We can't simply quote from a thick, antiquated book to debate with other people; we have to go out there and research everything. I guess it makes sense that we are regarded as intelligent within our school, considering all the reading we do.
Anyway, my Christian friend, who is also my best friend along with Gil, seems to have started questioning the teachings of her church and organized religion in general. I'm sure she still believes in god, but she has started to understand why non-religious people fight against some of the things that are interpreted from the Bible. She has brought up some of her doubts to me many times, and I try my hardest not to say anything that is too anti-religion, for her sake. Along with the current Republican presidential candidates, many well-known religious public figures have been subject to criticism over their super-conservative, bordering-on-insane beliefs. All of the Republican nominees just so happen to be die-hard religious fanatics who want to turn America into more of a religiously-inclined country than it already is, making it unfair for anyone in America who isn't a Christian. These people are giving religion a bad name, and along with being close friends with two very opinionated atheists, my best friend is slowly starting to resent religion. Very recently she has started to have disagreements with her mother over going away for college because her mother thinks that if she goes too far, she'll lose her religion (Which is true...sorry). Now imagine what she must be thinking: "Has my mother been sheltering me from the real world because she knows that the Bible isn't strong enough to outsmart modern science/technology?" It's kind of hard for me to put it into words, but acknowledging the fact that she is the only reason her daughter is religious makes a bad defense as to why her daughter should stay at home. What happens when she gets her own apartment, or gets married, or has children?
All in all, the reason why my friend was so open about her religion and would preach to anyone who would listen in the sixth grade is because she had absolutely no doubt about anything that was being taught to her.