I've always felt that although I am artistically inclined, I can't think the way artists think. Things that innate artists are able to "see" and "feel" never made any sense to me whatsoever without understanding some underlying theory behind it.
For example, when I did custom framing, I could never help people who were unsure of what colors went well with their art, or who straight-up told me, "I came here so you guys could design the colors for me, you're the professionals." Although I loved the job and loved working with art, I couldn't think abstractly and instead went into my mental catalog of complementary colors and used that to justify whatever color decision I was making on behalf of the customer. Instead, I became very good at production, and became one of the store's valuable production specialists who could join a frame properly, cut glass to its exact specifications, and find the best way to stretch a canvas.
In the hair industry, whenever someone sat in my chair and said "I want to do something that would go well with my face shape and/or skin color", I drew a blank. I had a very hard time trying to come up with some inspired idea of what length or color this person's hair should be to maximize their beauty, and I seemed to be one of the only ones there who had this issue. As much as people explained it to me (round faces need length, long faces need volume!), I still had a hard time drawing a blueprint in my mind of how I would go about making someone's face look better.
I went to cosmetology school because I was fascinated by the idea that holding a section of hair at a certain angle would create a specific shape, and that adding a stronger developer to color would make hair react more strongly. I wanted to learn the theory behind all of this, and wanted to be able to replicate it and be able to look at a head of hair at the end and see my 'blueprint' work out. However, I soon learned that all of this theory and technical knowledge only gets you as far as taking a state board exam and getting a license. Once in the salon, that all kind of goes out the window in terms of education.
We have weekly classes that alternate between cutting and color, and they are taught by stylists who currently work at the salon. I'm currently the senior assistant, so I work very closely with the salon owner, who is a comically abstract thinker and almost seems like a caricature of art teachers in comedies who can "feel" the world and know what it needs. This crosses over into her hairstyling, which involves almost no theory, and instead manifests as "feeling the hair and knowing where to cut it". She doesn't section the hair, she doesn't use hair clips, she barely even uses a comb. It's fascinating to watch, and almost impossible to learn from. For me, as her right-hand-person at this point, it results in a lot of frustrating days and long periods of her trying to explain something to me in her own way, to no avail. So, I've stopped asking questions.
In response to my frustrations regarding lack of technical and theoretical education, many stylists tell me you have to be able to think visually as well as theoretically. Although I do believe this might be true for hair coloring, I disagree in terms of hair cutting. In fact, I've spent hours watching hair cutting videos on YouTube and Instagram because as they are explaining each step, I'm understanding how precise everything they are doing is. It all has a purpose and a plan. In the end, although the client sees a great haircut, the stylist is seeing all of the purposeful cuts they made at each point and how they culminate in an error-proof cut.
The difference, of course, is that in a salon setting your goal as a hairstylist is to eventually get your haircuts down to less than an hour in order to maximize your pay and the amount of clients you can see. You're also bound to your scheduling, so if you feel that you didn't make sure the cut was perfect, it doesn't matter, because your next client is here and they've already been waiting for ten minutes.
Anyway, I've been seriously reconsidering my career path lately and have been looking at some options outside of the hair industry that might fit my learning style a lot better. I sort of had this epiphany today that the reason everything I've been pursuing in my life is art-adjacent stems from the fact that I went to a theater arts school from the ages of twelve to eighteen. I don't think it has anything to do with being a person who is inclined to make art in some way.
I think that explains a lot about why I can play guitar pretty well and sing, but I can't write any of my own music. If I was locked in a room and the only way out was to write a song complete with lyrics and an original chord progression, I'd probably die.
I don't know what you'd call it when someone can copy something really well but can't make anything of their own, but I've had that feeling many times in my life regarding art. I guess writing is a form of art but there's also a universal structure to writing in the form of grammar, spelling, formatting, etc. so it doesn't really feel like I'm doing anything original. I'm basically just writing down my thoughts and throwing it into the void.
I've been watching some coding videos online and considering going to a coding bootcamp, and I think I'd be really good at it based on what I know about myself and my abilities. I've written some code and watched it come to life and it's actually very enjoyable. So I guess we'll see if three years from now I write a new blog post about how coding is too structured and boring and I don't have any freedom.
Good thing I still live at home and don't pay rent!
