It's A Man's Instinct To Be Chivalrous To A Dainty Woman: Gender Roles, Who's Fault Is It?

Women want classic chivalry. Of course. They want independence, equality, and self-control, of course. But sometimes the two don't come hand in hand. Do women know what men consider to be "chivalry"?
Like most of these topics, this won't be just about how men don't treat women equally. This whole topic involves many, many other things, especially things that women do to maximize the "perfect woman" image. Yes, it's also women's fault. [Keep in mind, I'm not choosing any sides, I'm just reporting as I see it.]

Part I: A Woman's Image

Women wear makeup. Frilly dresses. Do their nails. Shave their legs, armpits, wax every other hair on their body. Get disgusted by the things that men do when they're with their friends, like burping, or the things they talk about.
Many of these things are seen by men as a sign of weakness, or a fault, as to why they should be treated like they're something fragile, delicate. Like the dresses, and the nails. I'm not sure about the makeup, because some men see this as a doll-like quality, but others don't.
Because they look so delicate and dainty, something in a man's mind says, "Let me get those bags for her." Or "Let me open the door for her." Or even something like, "No, you can't help me with this, this is a man's job." It's a man's instinct to treat a woman like she's too dainty for something, especially when she looks the part.
Women try so hard to look perfect, and then get angry when a man treats her what he would call, being a gentleman. But men and women think chivalry are different things.
My boyfriend thinks chivalry is not letting me hold any bags and not letting me walk on the outside of the sidewalk. It makes me mad sometimes, but it's just instinct for some guys. It's not instinct for women to spend hours on their appearance, or sacrificing needs, i.e. being able to wipe your ass, just for pretty, long, perfect acrylic nails, or any other thing like that. Women need to understand that they can't whine about equality while they're making themselves up to be porcelain dolls, for people on the street to admire, for their boyfriends to proudly take their arm.

Part II: A Man's Perspective

Like I've stated before, it's a man's instinct to be chivalrous. The point is, women and men obviously think differently, and they think different of chivalry.
With women, chivalry is, you know, the basic stuff, like holding open doors, letting her have the seat on the bus or train, paying for her, protecting her from harm, etc.
With men, however, chivalry is basically a gender role. Women are "not allowed" to do some things because they're "a mans job". For example, doing the mechanical work, or insisting on holding her bags because they're, apparently, too heavy for a woman. Men would say it's just common courtesy. Women would say it's sexism, the idea that women are too dainty and delicate to do certain things.

Part III: Society's Teachings

What would you say if you saw a man with hairy legs, hairy armpits, facial hair, and arm hair? Nothing, that's just natural.
What if you saw a woman, with hairy legs? Hairy armpits? Bushy eyebrows? You'd probably be disgusted, regardless of whether you're a man or a woman.
This somehow means that hair is a man thing. [Except on your head, of course.] If I asked why it's a man thing, you'd say, because it looks disgusting on a woman.
Why? What makes hair so manly? Do you think that before, like when everyone lived in huts, that people cared about things like armpit hair on a woman? Why is body hair considered a "man thing"?
If you can't come up with an answer to that, then you can probably see how easy it is for the media to convince people of certain things, especially when it comes to gender roles.
Society is, basically, the reason why men think women are inferior to them, or weaker, more delicate and fragile. Which is why men treat women the way they do.

Part IV: So Who's Fault Is It?

It's everyone's fault!!!




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Magazine/Internet Love Quizzes [And Why They Suck]

You know those quizzes that come in those magazines, titled things like "Is It True Love?", "Is He A Cheater?", "Do Guys Find You Attractive?", etc.? Yeah well I've read quite a few of them and I find that they're absolutely RIDICULOUS.

Exhibit A:

"Is It True Love?"
[A quiz in CosmoGirl]

Almost all the questions are ridiculous, but here are a few that shouldn't have even been in there:


1:
"The first time you met your boyfriend you felt:
A. Psyched! He was really cute!
B. Surprised, you felt like you knew him.
C. Intrigued; you wanted to learn more."

Here's the problem:
First off, first impressions are not always right. For example, when my aunt met her late husband she DESPISED him. She hated him for a couple of years, actually. And what happens? They ended up getting married and having kids.

So explain to me; How is your first impression of your boyfriend supposed to determine if it's true love or not? There's no such thing as love at first sight.


2:
"You mention that Fall Out Boy is playing soon. What does your guy say?
A. "I already got tickets for us."
B. "Oh, I'll have to keep it in mind."
C. "Maybe we should go.""

This question is seriously stupid. First off, mentioning that you want to see Fall Out Boy and your boyfriend's reaction depends on whether he even LIKES the band. For example, if I "mentioned" to my boyfriend that a certain band is "playing soon", seeing as how he hates my music, he'd probably just say, "Oh, okay. You gonna go?" Secondly, implying that whether or not your boyfriend buys you tickets to a concert determines whether it's true love or not is retarded. What does love have to do with music?



Now from another quiz called "Are You And Your Boyfriend Too Serious?"


1:
"You're at a show and a hottie starts chatting you up. You:
A. Flirt and later glance at his Myspace profile, but that's it.
B. Give out your digits. You're not married or anything, right?
C. Quickly say, "My sweetie loves this band but he was busy tonight.""

We all know that in certain quizzes there are "right" and "wrong" answers even though you're supposed to be analyzing from your own personal experience, especially in quizzes like these. There's usually a Right answer, the Neutral answer, and the Wrong answer. I don't have to tell you which on is which, right? The problem with THAT is that if I dated someone long enough to call them my "boyfriend", I'd say something close to C, although we know that's the "Wrong" answer. The ideal answer would be A or B, but I would consider that foul play. The whole point of these quizzes is for you to put yourself in these hypothetical situations, right? Doing so, I'd consider B to be completely wrong, and A is still bad. I just imagine my boyfriend finding out I was flirting with another guy and we exchanged Myspaces.


2:
"You write a letter to your grandparents. What topic takes up the most space?
A. Catching them up on the rest of your family.
B. School and extracurricular activites.
C. Whoever you're dating."

My problem with THIS question is not the fact that it has nothing to do with being "too serious", but that it's just creepy and stupid. To begin with, even if I was married, I wouldn't write my grandparents a letter all about my husband. Obviously I'd be "catching them up on the rest of the family". Sure, I'd include a few bits about him, but choice A is like, the international right answer for everyone.


And now: "Is your boyfriend a cheater?"


1: "One of your friends did something hurtful and you tell him about it. He:
A. Thinks of possible justifications for her behavior.
B. Says it's a bummer.
C. Listens, asks questions, and sympathizes."

What does this have to do with cheating??? The variables involved in cheating are:

Boyfriend + Hot Girl + Physical/Emotional intimacy - Girlfriend = Cheating.

Not only that, but I can't even think of which of the answers are Right and Wrong. You know why??? Because this has nothing to do with cheating.


2: "To your knowledge, has he cheated before?
A. Yes
B. You're not sure
C. No

Is there even anything to say about this question?
First off, if he has, in fact, cheated on you before, then you're stupid. On the other hand, whether he's cheated on you or not doesn't determine whether he'll cheat on you. There's a first time for everything.



There are MANY MANY MANY more quizzes that I could criticize, but I think I'm done with my rant now.

=]





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